The Regular Gal is your girl next door, loyal and always there to help a friend in need. She has usually experienced abandonment early in life, and appreciates the importance of friendship. She has moved beyond seeing the world through the eyes of the Innocent. Ans is aware of the trials and tribulations that we must all go through in the ‘real’ world.
All of us have experienced orphaning of some kind. And for the Regular Gal, abandonment in early life may feel like a central theme. Your parents may have been absent, or simply unable to provide you with the love and support you needed. Yet, you are able to find happiness through joining up with others.
It is important for the Regular Gal to be part of something. And your mistrust of authority will make your bonds with your tribe even stronger. Your are a realist, and your suffering gives you an immense appreciation of achievement. You are extremely loyal, and will go to any lengths to help a friend, your moto is “All for one, and one for all”.
Your Regular Gal Gifts
Resilience: You are extremely resilient, and have a tenacious ability to bounce back. This likely stems from your childhood where you may of had to fend for yourself.
Realism: You have a realistic outlook on life, and tend not to get carried away by daydreams. This makes you a good judge of character. And you can usually discern what the best course of action is in any given situation.
Loyalty & Empathy: You are extremely loyal, and will do anything to help out a friend in need. Your experience of early abandonment places friendships high on your list. You love to be part of the group, and people love and appreciate you for your loyal and caring nature.
Interdependence: Your mistrust of authority makes you a fantastic networker. You love to make connections, be part of something big, and work towards a common cause. You are the Trade Union leader, the Musketeer, the voice and leader of the everyday good people of the world. Through joining together with others, you are able to make the world a better place.
Growth through Suffering: You understand what it means to suffer, which can be an opportunity for growth. Many fictional heroes are depicted as orphans for this very reason. Because their suffering gives them the empathy and passion to help the oppressed. Your suffering makes you a champion for those in need.
Your Regular Gal Shadow
Pessimism: You likely have a raw sense of the pain and injustice of the world. You have been catapulted out of the Innocent stage where life is safe and idealistic, right over to the other end of the spectrum. If you don’t find balance in your worldview then it can lead to an overly pessimistic one.
Conformity: Your need to be part of the group can lead to conformity. You may worry about what your peers think of you, and pressure yourself to ‘fit in’. This can become a problem when you wish to expand beyond the small confines of the group.
Self Orphaning: You fear of abandonment may make attachment difficult for you. This can create an “I’ll leave them before they leave me” attitude. Which cut you off from developing real and lasting connections. Ultimately this attitude leads to a life of serial self abandonment and sabotage.
Betraying your True Self: Your need to fit in and be part of the crowd can lead you to creating a false persona. You may tailor your likes and dislikes to others in your group, and play down your own power and purpose.
Avoiding Rescue: There may be times when you need a helping hand from others. This can be difficult for you to accept. You may even ask for it, but when it actually arrives you’ll find fault in the person or method and end up rejecting it. It’s OK for you to accept help from others.
Your Regular Gal Journey
Early Orphaning: You likely experienced an early abandonment, that made you feel you were on your own. Life is full of these kind of orphaning experiences. And you have had your fair share.
Realism Verging on Pessimism: These experiences have made you a realist. You accept the double edged nature of life, and see the negatives all to well. But be careful not to fall into full scale pessimism. This is when you actively expect the worst to happen, and limit your hopes in case things go wrong.
Joining in with the Crowd: You true light starts to shine when you find people who are like yourself. You will likely gravitate to an ‘outsider’ group, but with strict in-group traits. It’s important that you balance your own desires with the groups. And that you don’t deny your own growth or dreams just to fit in.
Accepting Help: Your history of let downs can make it difficult for you to trust people or ask for help. But it is a vital step in your journey towards healing and independence. In the past you may have said you needed help, but then refused or rejected it when it came. Allow yourself to be rescued.
Interdependence: This stage is when you really come into your own. You have a strong sense of self, and are able to join with others towards a common mission. This will usually be on behalf of the oppressed or wounded. You have a firm belief in equality, and great empathy for those in need. Whether it’s people, animals, or the environment.
Your Regular Gal Power & Purpose
Empathy: Your suffering has given you an extraordinary empathy for those in pain. You often feel like a bit of an outcast yourself, and so you connect easily with outsiders. This is a special gift, and can be life changing for the people you draw in.
Loyalty: You are extremely loyal, and will do anything to help out a friend in need. Because of your mistrust of authority, your friendships are all the more important. Letting someone down is not an option.
Camaraderie: Your “All for one, one for all” attitude, is a camaraderie that few people get to experience. You have the ability to truly become one of the tribe. And to create a safe and loving bond with others that raises you beyond your early life experiences.
Powerful Social Movements: Your power is your ability to rise up from the suffering of your past. To join with others and create bonds that cannot be broken. From this place of power you feel compelled to stand up for the oppressed and wounded of the world. Fighting authority on their behalf, and demanding justice and equality for all. You are the Human Rights campaigner, the Freedom Fighter, the Robin Hood, the Musketeer.
Helping Others: Once you have gone through your own heroes journey, you are able to help others. You yearn to create a world where everyone belongs.
Ways to Grow
Find your Tribe: Your growth depends on your ability to come together with others. This gives you a tribe to anchor yourself to, and strengthens you self esteem and self worth.
Look for Meaning: It can be difficult to find meaning in our own suffering. Yet it is so important if we are to move beyond it. Viktor Frankl, the psychologist and Holocaust survivor, is a beautiful example of this. He found that his own ‘search for meaning’ in his time in the Auschwitz, was key to his survival. Looking for meaning in our suffering does not mean that we condone it. Rather it treats the experience as a gateway to higher truths. When you can find meaning in your suffering, you are able to grow beyond them.
Accept Help: Deep down you yearn to be rescued, and yet you find it difficult to accept help. You may unconsciously find faults with the person or help offered, and even push it away. Accepting help is a vital step in reconnecting you with your lost innocence. This helps you to balance your realism, and yet accept the love and care of your friends.
Be Yourself: While fitting in with the group is important, this must be balanced with your own sense of self. You can be an individual, and be part of the crowd.
Fight for Others: You true calling is in joining up with others against a common threat. Embrace anything that supports your evolution onto this noble, and much needed path.